I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
