arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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