I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
