As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
