I murdered the dance floor call the cops
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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