i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
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