hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
