Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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