you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
