I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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