none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I CAN MOONWALK!
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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