"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
