At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
