suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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