You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
