I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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