Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
