brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
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