The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
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