Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
