How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Randomize
