She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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