In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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