We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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