Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
