no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
Randomize
