Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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