you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Randomize
