i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
