They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
