I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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