I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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