I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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