You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
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