I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
