Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Are we still banned from the library?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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