were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Randomize
