I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
