Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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