i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
