I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
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