brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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