I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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