just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Sober January is a disaster.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize