Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Randomize
