Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
