OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
pop tarts are not kleenex
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
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