you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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