I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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