I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
