If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
