physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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