Soap is not a condiment
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
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