Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
they're like a gay fantastic four
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
