speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
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