I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
My pussy is not your playground.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Randomize
