do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Randomize
